By Gerri Leder
The journey through Advent may call up other patient journeys. Waiting through pregnancy for the birth of a child takes patience, and much later, sitting up late into the night for your teenager to arrive home. You may remember waiting to buy your first home, for the inspections to be completed, the mortgage to be approved — all the while planning, anticipating, and visualizing the new day when the waiting is over. The days tick by…and finally, settlement day.
You might have felt excited but unready to celebrate, like children awaiting Christmas with thinly veiled enthusiasm. Waiting is hard for the young, and they often act out as they struggle to mark time between now and then.
The waiting journey takes twists and turns. So it is with Advent. The third week shifts from solemn preparation (hope, peace) to JOY; that is, joyful anticipation that Christmas is near, with the arrival of the Christ child growing closer. The lone pink or rose candle on the wreath — the liturgical color for joy — invites us to linger in joy and hope for our Savior.
“…The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity and faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against this, there is no law. –Galatians 5:22-23
Joy is found in stillness, in knowing God, in looking inward for what sustains us. Joy rooted in faith permits joy amidst sorrow, grief, loneliness, struggle, and suffering. Unlike happiness, joy is not tied to our internal weather, to the ups and downs of what we are going through, nor is it a response to what others do and say.
“Joy comes when you make peace with who you are, where you are, and who you are not with,” writes Sandra Brown in Psychology Today, describing her much-admired mother who had lived in joy despite reduced circumstances following her divorce. Her joy was a spiritual quality driven from within her own heart.
Giving yourself to others is another source of joy. Writer David Brooks suggests that “Joy is the present that life gives you when you give away your gifts,” including literally, when you drop off the Angel Tree gifts, or figuratively, when you raise your hand for a volunteer task that has your name on it or when you connect with a friend during their difficulties.
Joy is an attitude, a quality that is quite distinct from happiness. Happiness is external and more temporary than joy. We feel happiness from Christmas lights, buying a new coat, laughing with friends, or enjoying a good Christmas concert. You might be happy if your loved one doesn’t bring up politics at Christmas dinner with the family. Happiness is situational, conditional, dependent on what is happening or what you are experiencing in the moment. Happiness ensues from a compliment, a good meal, or a raise at work. It follows that unhappiness stems from a rude remark, a bad customer service experience, or a project in trouble at work. Joy, however, does not.
“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your soul.” –1 Peter 1: 8-9
In a recent Advent Sit Meditation, Brian McLaren of the Center for Action and Contemplation speaks of how Advent beckons us to reflect on what is coming:
“In Advent, there is an emptiness that hasn’t been filled…we cultivate intentional, deliberate emptiness…when abundant life for all has not yet been fulfilled. (We are waiting for)… the dreams of God to come through…for you…for me…for all creation,” McLaren says.
As you wait, how can you return to experience JOY in your heart this season? The fruits of the spirit are accessed through reflection, silence, and practicing our faith.
Here are a few reflection questions to sit with when you return to that quiet room to pray:
- What are the small joys you notice today?
- What are the greatest ones?
- How is God inviting you to experience more joy in your family, at work, or in your relationships?
- What would it mean to you to return to that place of joyful hope?
- How are you called to share your gifts with those who live without love, hope, and peace in their lives?
The distinctions between happiness and joy may overlap at times. Cultivating the fruits of the spirit while you wait in joyful hope for the Savior will not disappoint.
Gerri Leder, a graduate of the Spiritual Direction Institute at Bon Secours, is a retreat leader and small group facilitator. She retired as a marketing consultant for financial advice firms.