Week Four of Advent: Love & Three Questions
By Gerri Leder
Love has been the Advent through line from the moment of Mary’s unconditional surrender to God’s mysterious plan, when she accepts His invitation through the Angel Gabriel to be the Mother of the Messiah. She will bear a son, and they shall name him Jesus, Emmanuel, the Prince of Peace.
Love abounds through the Advent story. God so loved the world that he gave us His one and only Son, so that anyone who believes in Him can have eternal life, according to John 3:16. He will save his people from their sins.
In Week Four of Advent, love is the theme along with peace. The Advent wreath’s purple Angel’s candle symbolizes the message of peace on earth and God’s great love, as Christmas draws near.
The Holy Spirit calls us to look into our own hearts and experience the Love that brought us here. My pastor’s homily last weekend — delivered on Zoom due to a snowstorm —challenged us to imagine ourselves at the end of our lives and to ask three questions:
- Have I loved everyone enough?
- Have I helped the people who need help in my community enough?
- Did I reach out enough to family and friends with care and concern?
Although the snowy Zoom service involves a back and forth, I was rendered mute by the profound questions posed by the priest — at least temporarily. Reflective questions have a way of working in us as tangible faith litmus tests for our daily lives. Join me as I go there — that is, examine my own consciousness, in the manner of the Jesuit Examen.
Have I loved enough? We love people through words and deeds. I could be more loving, affirm people by leading with kind words, think the best of people and offering “the benefit of the doubt.” It would be nice if I let people speak first before I jump in to express my opinion. Any of these practices could make people feel more love in my presence.
Have I reached out enough? We could always reach out more to our family and friends. Even more, we can reach out to people who are older, infirm, or who rely on us, like our parents, neighbors, and friends who are recovering from surgery or an illness. I use text too often as a substitute for a genuine check in. And although I try to help people, a few widows I know from church need checking on. What might they need and why don’t I just give them a call to check in?
Have I helped people in my community enough? Well okay, I am still haunted by having to renege on gifting a 20-pound turkey to my parish’s Thanksgiving food drive, only to panic when I realized they wanted a cooked, deboned turkey — and I don’t cook!
Reflecting on the turkey fiasco, the Holy Spirit inspired me to give from my talents and gifts, not from my shortcomings (in the kitchen). I tried to compensate by volunteering for a pair of nonprofit events, dropping off food at the food pantry, and making financial gifts.
Giving from our strengths is part of becoming our true selves. Knowing ourselves better helps us to recognize the moments when daily life challenges us. People rub us the wrong way. Words spoken by others unintentionally wound us. And our unkind words land badly too. Our hurts, our biases, our emotional triggers become inflamed. Yet, we are called to belong to Jesus Christ; we are called to be holy.
Our love grows in prayer, when we have time to welcome Jesus to dwell in our hearts — him in us and we in Jesus. The question of “have we loved enough?” is between us and God — no one else.
May we linger in that invitation and ask, “Are we doing the best we can?”
My Christmas prayer is that we may celebrate anew the miracle of our Savior Christ’s birth, reflect on the abounding love of God the Father, pause on the purity of sacrifice of Mother Mary. This is our inheritance, the true foundation of our Christian faith. And may the Christmas star that led the Magi to the Christ Child shine brightly in our grateful hearts this season and always.
Gerri Leder, a graduate of the Spiritual Direction Institute at Bon Secours, is a retreat leader and small group facilitator. She retired as a marketing consultant for financial advice firms.