Robert and Lori Fontana have been in Christian Marriage Ministry since the early 1990s. Robert contributed today’s blog post about the importance of intentionally working on marriages to help them thrive!
Marriage Can Be a Foretaste of Heaven…or Hell
The Scriptures are clear: Heaven begins this side of heaven.
Paul writes, “So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Cor 5:17) John writes, “See what love the Father has bestowed on us that we may be called the children of God. Yet so we are.” (1 John 3:1)
This is not simply meant as a theological truth while we toil in this “valley of tears.” We should experience the fruits of being a new creation and a child of God this side of heaven through how we love one another. This is especially true for couples who marry in Christ Jesus. As a pattern, Christian married life ought to bring us “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Gal 5:22-23)
Sadly, marriage can be a foretaste of hell rather than heaven for many Christian couples. The current data on divorce rates among Christian couples is 28% for Catholics, 33% for Protestants. UGH! Furthermore, from my experience as a marriage therapist, many long-term Christian marriages are unhappy.
There are a variety of reasons for this, but a primary one is that couples do not work on their marriage. By not giving their marriage attention, couples begin to take one another for granted, other things become more important, and couples grow apart. They may go to church and look like the “Holy Family” on the outside, but on the inside, they are lonely, hurt, and disillusioned. But this does not have to be.
There is a solution: Work on your marriage, and your marriage will work.
It’s not just working on learning better communication skills, doing relationship inventories, reading self-improvement books, and going on retreats — although these are all good and important. Working on your marriage especially involves maintaining friendship and having fun together. Marital friendship, according to the research, is the key ingredient to sustaining happiness in love over a lifetime. Now wouldn’t that be a taste of heaven before heaven?
Robert and Lori will be leading a couples retreat, “Christian Marriage Is Beautiful (and Hard)” at our Center from August 23-25, 2024. Consider attending as a great way to grow in your marital friendship! Register today and get ready to grow!