Today’s blog is brought to us by Brent Anderson, a new (to us) retreat presenter. Brent will be leading From Conflict to Connection: Contemplative Practices that Heal Families & Organizations June 14 to 16 at our Center. His blog is a brief sample of what our guests can expect to gain from his weekend retreat. You can register for the retreat by clicking HERE.
**Additionally, please note that as of May 1, our blog will be posted once a week on Sundays.
What do an African American jazz musician, a member of the KKK, and St. Francis have in common?
What if headlines dominated by polarization, hate, violence, and contempt — which often lead to apathy, anger, and despair — could instead serve as our clarion call to wake up to an alternative way of engaging?
Contemplatively rooted spirituality and engagement guide us toward a way of living, being, and listening that guides our way into answers to both of these questions.
Daryl Davis has long been one of my heroes. One night after a jazz piano performance, he was approached by a fellow who was overwhelmed by Daryl’s talent. As they talked, the impressed fan revealed that he was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. As an African American jazz musician, a natural reaction from Daryl would have been to move into fear or anger and quickly terminate the conversation. Daryl did the opposite. Daryl asked for the fellow’s phone number so they could continue the conversation, which led to an enduring friendship. Daryl’s attitude of contemplative curiosity led him to seek out and befriend other Klan members and leaders, which over time built up to hundreds of friends and dialogue partners who were card-carrying members of the KKK.
One evening the next year, Daryl received a gift from one of the Klan members. The fellow explained that he had no more use for what was in the box; Daryl opened it to discover the man’s KKK robe and hood. Darry was deeply moved by his friend’s willingness to share in this moment of disaffiliation with the KKK, which his friendship with Daryl had helped to propel. Over 200 of Daryl’s acquaintances would later follow suit and leave their Klan membership behind.
St. Francis embodied similar qualities that enabled him to bridge divides, broker peace between extremely polarized parties, and even bring warring factions to find common ground. What is it about his spirituality — and also his concrete practices — that enabled him to do this? Can we inhabit these stances and practices?
While we may not be in touch with members of the KKK or warring factions, most of us have relationships impacted or destroyed by polarizing political, social, and ideological forces around us that could benefit from an alternative way of engaging. Mark, a retired professor, shared that he hadn’t spoken to his son in two years. As he began to incorporate contemplative engagement practices in his life, he reached out to his son, and his son noticed the difference. Mark celebrates that they are now talking again and healing has emerged between them.
Mary shared that when she had a different opinion than others in her circles of family and friends, she “stayed quiet.” She believed that if she spoke up, she could alienate them, akin to the rift between Mark and his son. Thus, she preferred to choose the way of silence, even if it meant diminishing her authenticity. As she grew with these contemplative engagement practices, she had one of the most liberating experiences of her life: “I found my voice!” She discovered that it is possible to share her perspectives and not only maintain — but deepen — her connection with her family and friends.
In preparation for this way of engaging, Mark and Mary went through a formative retreat in which they were touched by God’s Spirit. They experienced a profound sense of healing, peace, and love deep in the soul. The growth in self-awareness of some of their own shadows and triggers prepared them to better be able to hold others — who see the world very differently — with an embrace similar to what they had received in their contemplative prayer experiences.
If you would like to be a part of the growing movement of nearly a thousand people (pastors, physicians, social workers, chaplains, teachers, healthcare & education senior leaders, spiritual directors, government agency administrators, entire communities of Catholic men and women’s religious orders, Episcopal priests, Baptist preachers, and Lutheran lay ministers) who are consciously opening to their contemplative depth, bridging divides, and healing relationships, consider joining the Cultivating Unity retreat!