By Linda Mastro
Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence. This is the most important, the first on the list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s law and the Prophets hangs from them.”
—Matthew 22:34-40 (The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language)
This often-quoted verse, also known as the Greatest Commandment, is simple and all inclusive. The call to love teaches us that relationships are the central tenet of the Christian life. Jesus instructs us first and always to love God. His invitation to love then extends to our neighbor, a broad category that embraces everyone we encounter in all aspects of life. The third relationship that sometimes gets downplayed is the one we have with ourselves. Although not explicitly stated, the Greatest Commandment prompts us to embrace our own belovedness as a gateway to loving God and neighbor.
Many of us, especially women, were taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish. Our primary purpose is to tend to the needs of others, our homes, our work, and our communities. If there are time and energy left over, maybe then we can give ourselves a little bit of love. In Petite Retreats: Renewing Body, Mind, and Spirit Without Leaving Home, my co-author and I distinguish between selfish and self-centered. Being selfish is putting yourself above all others and all else, no matter what the cost. Selfishness ignores the consequences of your actions. On the other hand, being self-centered means being centered in self: knowing who you are, what keeps you well, and how and when you can offer your gifts in service to others. Being centered in self reminds us that we are as precious to God as the environment that we work to protect and the people with whom we share our life.
In his classic book, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World, Henri Nouwen, Catholic priest, professor, psychologist, and prolific writer, says,
“As long as ‘being the Beloved’ is little more than a beautiful thought or a lofty idea that hangs above my life to keep me from becoming depressed, nothing really changes. What is required is to become the Beloved in the commonplaces of my daily existence, and bit by bit to close the gap that exists between what I know myself to be and the countless realities of everyday life. Becoming the Beloved is pulling the truth revealed to me from above down into the ordinariness of what I am thinking of, talking about, and doing from hour to hour.”
Being the Beloved takes practice. Prayer, solitude, good company, and restful environments create opportunities to cultivate belovedness in our daily lives. When we love ourselves as God loves us, we are more able to be healthy and available to more fully love God and our neighbor.
Join us on May 29, 2026 at 4:00 pm through May 31, 2026 at 11:30 am for this upcoming retreat Being the Beloved.